essay # 4 revision

I have many things to revise on my essay. I'm having difficulty with introducing my thesis. Can anyone give me a few pointers. I would appreciate all the help I can get!

Final Project

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essay # 4 done maybe?

I still need to add a few more sources to my paper but I have most of it written! Any feedback would be appreciated, thanks everyone! 

The influence of rap music is a debatable topic in today’s society. Children and young adolescents are the main targets for this type of music. Scientists strongly believe that rap music is a violent subversion of language and encourages risky behaviors such a criminal activity, alcohol and substance abuse (Tanner). Unfortunately, listening to this rap music categorizes adolescents like other groups such as “Goths,” “metal heads” or “punkers.”  Suicide is a common outcome from labeling teens into groups (Tanner). Rap music is the main cause for increased sexual activity amongst 14 and 18 year olds. Although, scientists believe that rap music can promote bad behavior; however, this kind of music can positively influence a young adolescent’s life. Teens are able to relate to rap music and spark their interest in poetry, self-expression, and communicative and language skills (Heibutzki). Rap music provides pleasure to all of its listeners of all ages (Roberts). This influential music can control someone’s mood and enhance certain emotional states. According to Donald F. Roberts, “Music is driven primarily by the motivation to control mood and enhance emotional states. Music’s ability to communicate emotion and influence mood had been widely noted” (Roberts). The influence of rap music is heavily argued among scientists, psychologists and parents nationwide. Despite what critics say about rap music, it helps build language skills, provides pleasure and enhances emotional states.

“Gangsta” music is believed to encourage risky behaviors amongst young people (Tanner). The more time teens spend listening to vulgar behaviors administered by rap music, the more teens will practice the language and attitude in real life. Roberts believes that violent lyrics “encourage experimentation with illicit drugs, young audiences presumably must fine violent or substance related messages in the songs.” Violent lyrics are one of the main causes of aggressive behaviors in young adolescents. Many studies show that college students who prefer rap music have more hostile attitudes than other students who prefer a different genre of music. After a one-year study of 522 black girls, living in lower class families, scientists concluded that these girls who viewed “gangsta” music videos and listened to rap music were more likely to hit a teacher, get arrested or partake in destructive behavior, than those who didn’t listen to rap music at all (Kirchheimer). While many scientists believe that rap music influences destructive behavior others think otherwise. According to journalist, Ralph Heibutzki, “rap music can be credited with reviving young students’ interest in poetry and self-expression” (Heibutzki).  It also helps build linguistic, communicative and oral narration skills. Rap artists use several literary elements in their songs like similes, metaphors, analogies and rhyming schemes (Anderson). These important essentials provide children with a basic foundation for a long-term development of literacy, which is critical for students receiving a college education (Heibutzki). Rap music is a form of literacy that teens can relate to and understand. It’s considered to be a form of urban story-telling and allows today’s youth to tell stories in a more comfortable way while still being heard by others (Anderson). Rap music is beneficial to the youth in today’s society because it helps build an understanding of deep poetry and narration.

Listening to rap music serves another purpose for teens. It provides social acceptance by “in-groups” and “out-groups.”  However, this categorizes teens and places them in social groups whether they want to be in them or not (Tanner).  Arguably, adolescents who listen to popular pop music tend to have more friends than those who listen to “gangsta” music (Roberts). These group distinctions between teens affect them emotionally and psychologically. While some say categorization can lead to higher suicide attempts, there are various factors that explain the increase of suicide among young adults. There is evidence showing teens who are clinically depressed, alienated, angry, having family problems, abusing drugs, alcohol or having difficulty in school are put at higher risk for suicide. While scientists discourage rap music, others strongly support it because rap music provides pleasure to its listeners. Teens grow more attached to this kind of music because it provides a sense of pleasure that can’t be fulfilled any other way, while still teaching them how to sort out emotions and feelings, facilitate social interaction and address other developmental stage issues: love, sex, loyalty, independence, friendship and authority. James Lull, writer and contributor to “Media Violence and Children” explains that “ music promotes experiences of the extreme for its makers and listeners, turning the perilous emotional edges, vulnerabilities, triumphs, celebrations and antagonisms of life into hypnotic, reflective tempos that can be experienced privately or shared with others” (Roberts). Rap music provides pleasure for its listeners after a hard day.

Rap music is a primary suspect to an increase of teens who are involved in sexual activity (Roberts). Robert’s study also found that listening to rap music increases sexual activity between the ages of 14 and 18. While these researchers studied destructive behaviors amongst the 522 females, they also wanted to find how many sexual partners each female had within that one year study. DiClemente, scientist in charge of the case, states

We wanted to focus on young, African American women, a population that is very vulnerable. In these videos, men hold the power and women don't and as a result, are subservient. I'm not sure that the girls in our study were lashing out because of this, but more likely role-modeling the behaviors they see. The women in these videos are doing OK; they're hanging around with a man who is powerful, affluent, going to nice clubs and wearing nice clothes. For these girls, they may not be a bad thing.

These rap videos promote sexual behaviors and society will follow along, females especially (Kirchheimer). The female observational behavior can be described as monkey see monkey do. In today’s society there are several rising female rap artists who are able to create songs without sexual content and still maintain superiority like Missy Elliot, Queen Latifa, Eve and several other well-known artists. However, rap music serves another purpose for the population. This kind of music controls mood and enhances emotional states. When adolescents want to be in a certain mood they seek reinforcement for that mood and rap music tends to be just the remedy to accomplish the task (Roberts). Rap is the kind of music that allows teens to let loose and not worry about other life stressors.

 Listening to rap has its advantages and disadvantages; however, the positives outweigh the negatives. Many scientists believe it encourages risky behaviors such as substance abuse, criminal behavior, alcohol use and sexual activity. While others, like myself, agree that it helps build a teen’s narration and poetry skills. People also argue that rap places teens into certain stereotypical categories that match their music interests, which increases the suicidal rate amongst teens (Roberts). Listening to rap music may put a label on a teen but the genre of music someone listens to does not have any relation to the increase in suicide. If someone were to have suicidal thoughts there must be problems going on at home or in other areas in their life.  Music has no impact on someone’s important life choices; making decisions comes solely from them and not the music they listen to. On the contrary, rap music provides pleasure for all of its listeners because artists like Eminem reveal their emotions and feelings in their songs (John). Teens look for compassion and empathy from others and listening to rap music provides those things.

*conclusion still isn't done yet! 

Works Cited

Anderson, Aisha N. "Positive Effects of Rap Music | EHow.com." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! | How To Videos & Articles. 26 Sept. 2009. Web. 14 Nov. 2010.

                http://www.ehow.com/facts_5462383_positive-effects-rap-music.html

Heibutzki, Ralph. "The Effects of Rap Music on Kids | EHow.com." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! | How To Videos & Articles. 13 Feb. 2010. Web. 14 Nov. 2010.

                http://www.ehow.com/list_5985532_effects-rap-music-kids.html

John, Elton, and Phil Burke. "Eminem." Rolling Stone 972 (2005): 90. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 18 Nov. 2010.

                http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/

Kirchheimer, Sid. "Does Rap Music Put Teens at Risk?" WebMD - Better Information. Better Health. 3 Mar. 2003. Web. 14 Nov. 2010.

 http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030303/does-rap-put-teens-at-risk

Roberts, Donald F. "Chapter 8." Media Violence and Children: a Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals. By Douglas A. Gentile. Westport, CT: Praeger, 2003. 153+. Print.

Tanner, Julian, Mark Asbridge, and Scot Wortley. "Listening to Rap: Cultures of Crime, Cultures of Resistance." Social Forces 88.2 (2009): 693-722. Academic Search Premier. EBSCO. Web. 18 Nov. 2010.

                http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/

essay #4 getting started

The influence of rap music is a debatable topic in today’s society. Children and young adolescents are the main targets for this type of music. Scientists strongly believe that rap music is a violent subversion of language and encourages risky behaviors such a criminal activity, alcohol and substance abuse. Unfortunately, listening to this popular music categorizes adolescents into “Goths,” “metal heads” or “punkers.”  Suicide is a common outcome from categorization in educational environments. Rap music is the main cause for increased sexual activity amongst 14 and 18 year olds. Although, scientists believe that rap music can promote bad behavior, this kind of music can positively influence a young adolescent’s life. Teens are able to relate to rap music and revive their interest in poetry, self-expression, helps build communicative and language skills. Rap music provides pleasure to all of its listeners of all ages. This influential music can control someone’s mood and enhance certain emotional states. According to Donald F. Roberts, “Music is driven primarily by the motivation to control mood and enhance emotional states. Music’s ability to communicate emotion and influence mood had been widely noted” (Roberts). The influence of rap music is heavily argued among scientists, psychologists and parents nationwide.

“Gangsta” music is believed to encourage risky behaviors amongst young people. The more time teens spend listening to vulgar behaviors administered by rap music, the more teens will practice the language and attitude in real life. Roberts believes that violent lyrics “encourage experimentation with illicit drugs, young audiences presumably must fine violent or substance related messages in the songs.” Violent lyrics are one of the main causes of aggressive behaviors in young adolescents. Many studies show that college students that prefer rap music have more hostile attitudes than other students who prefer a different genre of music. After a one-year study of 522 black girls, living in lower class families, scientists concluded that these girls who viewed “gangsta” music videos and listened to rap music were more likely to hit a teacher, get arrested or partake in destructive behavior, than those who didn’t listen to rap music at all (Kirchheimer). While many scientists believe that rap music influences destructive behavior others think otherwise. According to journalist, Ralph Heibutzki, “rap music can be credited with reviving young students’ interest in poetry and self-expression” (Heibutzki).  It also helps build linguistic, communicative and oral narration skills. Rap artists use several literary elements in their songs like similes, metaphors, analogies and rhyming schemes (Anderson). These important essentials provide children with a basic foundation for a long-term development of literacy; which is critical for students receiving a college education (Heibutzki). Rap music is a form of literacy that teens can relate and understand. It’s considered to be a form of urban story-telling and allows today’s youth to tell stories in a more comfortable way while still being heard by others (Anderson). Rap music is beneficial to the youth in today’s society. 

Works Cited

Anderson, Aisha N. "Positive Effects of Rap Music | EHow.com." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! | How To Videos & Articles. 26 Sept. 2009. Web. 14 Nov. 2010.

                http://www.ehow.com/facts_5462383_positive-effects-rap-music.html

Heibutzki, Ralph. "The Effects of Rap Music on Kids | EHow.com." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! | How To Videos & Articles. 13 Feb. 2010. Web. 14 Nov. 2010.

                http://www.ehow.com/list_5985532_effects-rap-music-kids.html

Kirchheimer, Sid. "Does Rap Music Put Teens at Risk?" WebMD - Better Information. Better Health. 3 Mar. 2003. Web. 14 Nov. 2010.

 http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20030303/does-rap-put-teens-at-risk

Roberts, Donald F. "Chapter 8." Media Violence and Children: a Complete Guide for Parents and Professionals. By Douglas A. Gentile. Westport, CT: Praeger, 2003. 153+. Print.

getting started essay #4

I'm struggling with the layout of this paper. Do I pick three points to argue against and three points that argue for the topic? Help me, ASAP!!!!

essay #4 idea!

Does rap music promote/influence bad behavior in young adolescents?

• Argue both sides with equal amount of information.

Yes                                                 

• encourages risky behavior:   

-Criminal activity, sexual activity, alcohol
and drug use

OR

No 

• revives young students interest in poetry & self  expression                                      
•   helps build communicative & language skills 
•  oral narration and poetry-long term development of literacy

Reliable works cited page

Works Cited

A, Of. "Climate Change and Sea Level Rise." Climate Institute. 2010. Web. 21 Oct. 2010.

http://www.climate.org/topics/sea-level/index.html#sealevelrise

• This site was last updated Autum of 2009 and had reliable information. I would use the  Climate Institute again for further reference.

“Climate Change - Health and Environmental Effects.” US Environmental Protection Agency. EPA, 19 Oct. 2010. Web. 20 Oct. 2010.

                http://www.epa.gov/climatechange/effects/health.html

• This site was last updated Tuesday, April 27, 2010. The EPA gave me a lot of information that other sites did not. I would definitely use this site again for other essays.

Gardiner, Lisa. "Effects of Climate Change Today." Windows to the Universe. GroSolar, 22 Apr. 2010. Web. 20 Oct. 2010.

http://www.windows2universe.org/earth/climate/cli_effects.html

• This web document had an author and a publication date. It was last updated April 22, 2010. I would use this site again.

"Greenhouse Gas Emissions | Climate Change | U.S. EPA." US Environmental Protection Agency. EPA, 19 Oct. 2010. Web. 20 Oct. 2010.

http://www.epa.gov/climatechange/emissions/index.html

• This site did not have an author but had a publication date. It was last updated on Tuesday, October 19, 2010. The EPA gave me very reliable information that I used for my essay.

Klappenbach, Laura. "Permafrost - What Is Permafrost." Animals Wildlife - Animal Facts, Animal Pictures, Habitat Facts, Evolution and Zoology. 2010. Web. 25 Oct. 2010.

http://animals.about.com/od/tundra/f/permafrost.htm

• This site had an author however, it did not have a publication date. Because this source did not have an author it's not reliable; it could be biased. I would not use this site for further reference.

Morris, Barry. "Effects on Weather from Climate Change and Global Warming." Global Warming, Climate Change and Other Environmental Issues. GNU Free Documentation. Web. 21 Oct. 2010.

http://climatechange.110mb.com/effects-weather-climate-change.htm

• This site has an author and was last updated November 2008. I would use this site again, however, it could be old information so I might need to double check the information from other updated reliable sources.